Blog#14 相信上帝的供應

“(耶 穌) 對 他 們 說 ： 行 路 的 時 候 ， 不 要 帶 柺 杖 和 口 袋 ， 不 要 帶 食 物 和 銀 子 ， 也 不 要 帶 兩 件 褂 子 。” 路 加 福 音 9:1-6

親愛的上帝，

我是否曾經嘗試過完全依靠你的供應來事奉上帝，而沒有自己的備用B 計劃？ 很少。 為什麼？ 我堅信，為意外做好準備是忠實服事你的方式，因此 110% 意味著安排 B 計畫。 但如果我相信耶穌已經賦予了祂的門徒戰勝惡魔和治癒疾病的能力，那麼 B 計畫適合在哪裡呢？額外的 10% 會成為一種負擔，常常轉化為擔憂和焦慮。

在過去的一年裡，在我成為精神屬靈導師的實習期間，我幾乎在所有的實習中都經歷了你的供應。 我學會了字面上的「旅途中不帶任何東西」；但每次的屬靈導引空間都充滿了神你臨在的經歷。 你才是真正引導、醫治、安慰、責備、祝福和改變的人。 你的供應遠遠超出了我理性上的理解範圍。於是， 我學會了把我的議程放在一邊，這通常是我的備用B計劃，我只要宣告你的臨在，你就會出現，完成你要成就的。 我記得有一次，你把同樣的聖經場景帶到了我和我的指導者的腦海中，那一刻的治癒是我所經歷過的最美麗和超然的經歷。

今天，當我事奉你時，究竟我的手杖、我的包包、我的麵包、我的錢和我額外的襯衫是什麼？ 是我的訓練、我的教育、我的知識、我的自信心、我的才能…？

親愛的主，請幫助我記住，只有你才是我的備用計劃，我不需要用那些額外的負擔來擾亂我的生活，從而為我提供成功的安全感，或為透過事奉你而感到有用的虛榮。請幫助我相信您的供應，並且當我每次缺乏或疲備不堪時您都會出現。 阿門

Blog #14 Trusting in God’s Provision

“He (Jesus) told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt.” Luke 9:3

Dear God,

Have I ever tried to serve you by totally relying on your provision without my own Plan B? Seldom. Why? It was my conviction that preparing for the unexpected is a faithful way to serve you, so 110% means to have a plan B installed. But if I trust that Jesus has already given his disciples power over demons and to heal diseases, where does plan B fit in? That extra 10% becomes a burden which often translates into worries and anxieties.

In the past year, during my practicum sessions to become a spiritual director, I experienced your provision in almost all of those sessions. I have learnt to bring “nothing for the journey”, literally; but came out with overflowing experience of the presence of God. You the one who truly directs, heals, comforts, rebukes, blesses and transforms. Your provision is beyond my wildest comprehension. I have learnt to put aside my agenda, which often is my plan B, and just proclaim your presence and you will show up. I remember a time that you brought the same Bible scene to both my and my directee's mind and the healing at that moment was the most beautiful and transcendent experience I have ever had.

What is my staff, my bag, my bread, my money and my extra shirt today when I serve you in ministry? Is it my training, my education, my knowledge, my confidence, my talents...?

Dear Lord, please help me to remember that only you are my plan B and I do not need to clutter my life with those extra burdens to provide me with a sense of security for success, or for my sense of usefulness in serving you. Help me to trust that you will provide and you will show up every time I run out. Amen